It's you and me and all of the people,

lovealways___me @ 2008-08-22T00:58:00

2008-08-22T05:00:45Z

After three and a half years I won't be seeing him again for four months. Weird. X)

In 24 hours I will be departing JFK airport. China, here I come!

lovealways___me @ 2008-08-11T22:00:00

2008-08-12T02:07:23Z

I'm leaving for China in less than two weeks, and ~~I'm kind of scared~~. I can't fucking wait.

lovealways___me @ 2008-07-08T02:01:00

2008-07-08T06:05:35Z

I just spent over an hour on somethinggreek.com. I didn't buy anything of course, but it was time well spent (sort of). They have a HUGE selection of colors for their clothing as well as patterns for letters and stuff. It's really cute except I shouldn't be spending more money right now. What I should be doing is learning the stuff I need to know for my new job - shouldn't be terribly hard. Hopefully I get to go to the beach tomorrow. :)

lovealways___me @ 2008-06-29T22:13:00

2008-06-30T02:18:00Z

I'm currently in Great Barrington, MA which basically is the same as being in the middle of nowhere, watching Harold and Kumar on tv. My legs are super itchy and they're all red and stuff even though I haven't been scratching at all. I swear! =X It doesn't really look like there's going to be much to do around here but hopefully we'll get in some great fishing time and horseback riding. =) Harumph. I had some delish Asian steak tonight. Yummy. Anywho. It's boring, and we can't go anywhere after it gets dark cause the amounts of bugs around here are crazy. There's so many trees! At least it's making for a very scenic vacation. =)

lovealways___me @ 2008-06-02T22:11:00

2008-06-03T02:15:08Z

It's strange. I'm out of school, yet I still feel so busy all the time. It's summer and I have so many things to do and so many people to see before I leave for Shanghai in August. I never make plans with anyone but my schedule always seems to be full. I think I'd rather people make plans and just invite me along because whenever I try to plan things it never works out. =/

For the most part though, my summer's been consumed by City of Heroes, work, and Jonathan. The first and the last of which are very addicting sometimes. ;D

Wednesday I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled out again - that should make work fun on Thursday. Speaking of work, I hope Starbucks is actually hiring and not a bunch of liars who like to give people false hope. I'm not leaving Ruby Tuesday, but I need a job that can give me an hourly wage so that I know I'll be making x amount of money every week at the very least. Hmph.

Back to saving the world for now. :)

lovealways___me @ 2008-04-01T01:04:00

2008-04-01T05:22:45Z

I haven't been compelled to write in awhile, but I actually have a lot on my mind.

I applied for Columbia's Internship in Building Community summer program, which I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get because I did the high school program about four years ago. There's several reasons why I want to go and why I don't want to go. Let's start with the pros. For one, it'll look really good on my resume. It's not going to be terribly strenuous and I have a feeling it'll be more fun than anything. Dorming and meal plans are free and we get $1800 compensation. Any trips that we plan for the high school students will also be reimbursed. The cons: It's two months long, which means I won't be able to see Jonathan much, if at all (although it's not something we can't handle). I'll only be averaging about $32/day which isn't a lot and I need to save up money for when I study abroad in the Fall. There's also a 11pm curfew on the weekdays, which everyone has to follow.

I have other options for my summer too, which is why I'm really debating on what I want to do. I talked to my manager at Ruby Tuesday and I'm hoping to start bartending for the summer, which means I'll be making more money (hopefully). I don't think I necessarily *need* the money, because I could always open up a credit card for when I go abroad, but it's nicer to know that I actually have the cash to pay for it and that I won't be in more debt than I already am in right now.

Another interest that I have, although this one's a bit more of a stretch, is to work at NinjaNewYork in Tribeca over the summer. It just seems like a really cool place to work, and I have a feeling that I'll be making a lot more money than I already am right now only cause it's in New York. The basic gist of the restaurant is that the inside is designed to look like a ninja castle, and the waiters get to dress and act like ninjas. Cool, right? I know it sounds stupid, but I feel like it'd be something really exciting to tell people and it'd definitely make a more interesting summer.

Hmph. Decisions decisions.

lovealways___me @ 2007-12-12T12:40:00

2007-12-12T17:42:53Z

I was thinking about something today that happened awhile ago and it made me laugh.

My parents have this huge issue with me and my sister wearing a lot of makeup or makeup at all really especially when it's not for a special occasion like parties or whatever. So we're all in the kitchen and my dad goes, "I don't see why you have to wear all that makeup when you're at home. It makes you look like a clown/hooker." And my sister just looks at me and I go, "But dad... I'm not wearing ANY makeup at all." hahahhahaha. So essentially my dad said I look ugly without makeup. Hah! Which means I should be wearing makeup more often. =P

lovealways___me @ 2007-12-04T17:11:00

2007-12-04T22:13:42Z

I had some really good news to write about, but I forget.

5 more days of class. :)
Christmas is coming soon and I haven't finished or even started my shopping really.
I think I'm doing well in all my classes except maybe chem. hmph.

Carlos Mencia!
He does the retarded voice way too well. haha.
Time to write a speech on him.

lovealways___me @ 2007-11-25T23:10:00

2007-11-26T04:29:18Z

This is the first time my journal's been public in a long time and I decided to make it and keep it this way because I honestly don't care who reads this anymore. Not to mention, I don't think many people read it anyway.

Where to begin? Well, for starters, I was getting ready for work only to find that my dog had peed in my shoe so I had to go to the mall and get a new pair before work, which made me ridiculously late. Because of that, my sister was making breakfast and she offered to pack it up for me which was really nice of her actually. We still had a bunch of leftovers so she kind of just through them together and made like an olive, tomato, mushroom, ham, onion, corn, andatonofotherstuff type of white omelette. Only, it wasn't really an omelette cause we didn't have enough eggs so she just kind of scrambled it all together.

Since I didn't have time to actually eat breakfast at home and I none of my tables were sat yet, I took the time to eat it at work. I should've known that people would be curious and ask me what it was. I had no problems with explaining it. But the reactions I got were just... weird? I don't know. Let me explain. People were like, "Ew. That's gross." or "It looks like the crap from a garbage disposal." And to be honest, it did look like it, but I ate it anyway cause I knew that it tasted good. And to show that it did, I offered to let other people try it, but of course, none of them would, cause you know, it looks weird and no one likes to try weird things.

I feel like I should've just gone to the salad bar, picked out a bunch of crap, mixed it together and been like, "Look, this looks like the crap that I see in my garbage disposal too and a lot of people eat this stuff all the time and I don't say a damn thing." Or just even pointed out that steamed broccoli is fucking disgusting and I don't understand how people can eat it because it's so bland, but if they did, I could care less because food is food and it's their choice to put that in their own bodies. But of course, it doesn't matter anymore.

This whole thing doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me it is. It reminded me of when I was younger and I'd bring Chinese food to school for lunch and kids would be like, "Ew!!! What's thaaat?!??!" And their reactions would make me feel nauseous and ultimately, ashamed of who I was. I assumed that now that I was older, the people I worked with would be more cultured and have a more open minded approach to things like this especially compared to those second graders that I had to face when I was younger. I assumed too much as enough people showed me today.

As more and more people kept on asking me what it was and giving me the same reaction, I just became more frustrated and angry. Let me get this straight: 1. I didn't ask/make you eat it so why are you so freaked out? 2. Everyone's entitled to his/her own opinion and 3. I NEVER FUCKING ASKED FOR IT SO SHUT THE FUCK UP. People seriously need to learn to mind their own fucking business.

I expected to encounter ignorant people as customers eventually, but never had I dreamed that it would be with people that I worked with. I have a great amount of respect for my coworkers, but that one little incident just set me off, and it takes a lot to really try my patience. I never knew that people were so culturally ignorant. I don't expect them to understand where I come from or to be as culturally diverse, but honestly, that was just too much for me today. I know I'm only Chinese and I'm American as well, because of the culture that I grew up in, but I feel like it's made me less ignorant about the world because of how open-minded I am to other things. I don't go around telling people that what they're eating looks like what my baby cousin just threw up. That's just downright rude and ignorant. And when I'm talking about these people, I'm only talking about a certain few. I don't even remember who it was that was there - that's how mad I was really.

I feel like nothing I wrote here justifies just how upset this incident made me. I don't think many of them understand how difficult it is to be ethnically and culturally different. Never in my life would I have imagined that I'd ever be ashamed of my own culture again, especially at this age. But that's essentially what I felt today. And it's something I've been fighting against my whole life. I never asked to be different. I just am and I've learned to accept it. I guess it's just impossible to ask others to do the same.

I know I should just forget about it and let what's happened pass, but things like this stick with me forever. It'll always be there nagging at me in the back of my mind.

new year. new layout.

2007-01-12T03:42:55Z